A decade ago, my life was irrevocably altered by a massive stroke. One moment I was living normally, and the next, I awoke in a hospital bed, terrified, bewildered, and confronting an unimaginable future. The journey to recovery has been long, marked by unforeseen physical, emotional, and mental challenges. A significant hurdle I encountered, which I hadn't anticipated, was the emotional trauma accompanying the stroke.
A stroke is not merely a physical struggle; it profoundly impacts your core. The shock of losing control over your body, independence, and identity is overwhelming. There's the fear of experiencing another stroke, the frustration of being unable to perform familiar tasks, and the emotional turbulence of recovery. Through my journey, I've learned valuable lessons and wish to share strategies that helped me cope—whether you're a stroke survivor or caring for someone who is.
Understanding Post-Stroke Trauma
Recognizing that post-stroke trauma is genuine is crucial. It's not solely about physical healing; the emotional and psychological impacts can persist long after the body begins to recover. Many stroke survivors experience anxiety, depression, fear of the future, or even post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD). You might feel helpless or angry—emotions that are difficult to convey to those who haven't experienced it.
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
The initial step in coping is accepting that your feelings are valid. Whether it's fear, sadness, anger, or frustration, your emotions are legitimate. When I began to embrace my emotions instead of dismissing them, it became easier to address them. Consulting a medical doctor helped me acknowledge these feelings without judgment. Once I regained use of my arm, I found speaking into my iPhone's notes section a helpful way to express my thoughts and feelings. When I could, journaling became beneficial. Writing down what's in your heart can bring clarity and relief.
2. Seek Emotional Support
A crucial lesson I've learned is that I don't have to face this alone. Finding a community that understands your experience can be transformative. Whether it's a support group, online forum, or connecting with another survivor, discussing your experience aids in processing the trauma. If you're a caregiver, joining a support group for caregivers can also offer much-needed relief and understanding.
3. Therapies That Heal
Various therapeutic approaches can aid in overcoming post-stroke trauma. In my recovery, I found garden therapy especially impactful. Being outdoors, connecting with nature, and nurturing something living helped me regain a sense of control and purpose. I now share this practice with others through LaLa’s Farm, where garden therapy is integral to healing. Meditation and mindfulness have also been vital in calming my mind, alleviating anxiety, and keeping me present. Other survivors find that talk therapy with a professional or cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) helps address the mental and emotional challenges of a stroke. The key is to discover what works for you and not hesitate to try different therapies until one resonates.
4. Set Small, Achievable Goals
Initially, even minor tasks seemed daunting. I learned that setting lofty goals like "return to normal" only exacerbated my feelings. Instead, I focused on small, attainable goals—such as walking to the end of the driveway, completing a simple chore, or cooking a meal. Each small success was a step forward, boosting my confidence to continue. Celebrate every achievement, no matter how minor it may appear.
5. Rebuild Connections
A profoundly healing aspect of my journey was the social-emotional support I found in caring for animals, particularly chickens. There's something incredibly therapeutic about connecting with an animal—no words, no expectations, just pure connection. It provided emotional comfort when I needed it most. If possible, find an emotional outlet that brings you joy—whether it's spending time with a pet, connecting with friends, or engaging in a hobby that uplifts you.
6. Be Kind to Yourself
Perhaps the hardest lesson I’ve learned is to be gentle with myself. Stroke recovery isn’t a straight line, and the emotional and mental challenges can be just as difficult—if not more so—than the physical ones. There will be good days and bad days. On the hard days, it’s important to give yourself grace. Rest when you need to, cry if you have to, and know that you are doing your best. Progress isn’t always visible, but every day you keep going is a triumph.
7. Ask for Help
There’s no shame in asking for help. Whether you’re a survivor or a caregiver, the weight of post-stroke trauma can be heavy. I’ve leaned on family, friends, and professionals more times than I can count. Surround yourself with a support system that can help lighten the load when it becomes too much to bear on your own.
Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be days when you feel like you’re running in place, and days when you feel like you’re moving forward. And that’s okay. As a 10-year stroke survivor, I’m here to tell you that it’s possible to find joy, meaning, and even growth after a stroke.
Healing is a personal journey, and it looks different for everyone. I hope that by sharing my experience, I can help you feel less alone and more empowered to face whatever lies ahead.If you or someone you love has experienced a stroke and are struggling with the trauma, stay tuned for my upcoming eBook, where we can learn of l various coping strategies, practical advice, and tools to help you reclaim your life.
You’re not alone on this journey, and together, we can heal.
From Lala with Love
Planting One Seed at a Time