Hello my name is Renee , I’m 40 years old and a mother to 5 lovely children. One of whom was in a horrible car accident. On December 14,2022. Ken was a passenger in his friends jeep. They were coming back from camping. Someone hit them, causing the Jeep to roll and all three passengers, driver, my son, and my son’s girlfriend. Were all three ejected from the Jeep. That’s the first day of what is now our new normal.
Ken suffered a major skull fracture. It was so bad the surgeon said “ I had to pick pieces of your sons skull out of his brain, there is nothing left of the skull to save”. Because of the skull fracture Ken ( my son) sustained a TBI ( traumatic brain injury) bleeding in the brain or membrane layer that protects your brain basically it swells up your brain ventricles and makes your brain swell. We were trying if Ken would most likely not make it past 48 hrs, to have our family come say there goodbyes now. We were devastated to say the least. Ken pulled through that first 48 hrs though . I knew he was a fighter and would make it. Or at least made myself believe it at that point.
While in the trauma hospital in icu still. Ken suffered two separate strokes at two separate times. One to each side of his brain . Both going unnoticed and untreated. I remember the day he had the second stroke. The massive one to the left side of his brain that really changed him. He was fine when they woke him up after a few days in a medically induced coma. He was fine after the first stroke to the right side. The day he had the second stroke was Christmas Day 2022. So 11 days after the accident. Which felt like the same day , if that makes sense. Like time just stood still the whole 4 months he spent in the hospital and two separate rehabilitation hospitals.
After his second stroke when I came the next day for visiting hrs. That hospital had a very struck no over night guest in icu. I walked into his room that next morning and could tell right away something was not right. Ken wasn’t responding to commands or stimulation, nothing. He didn’t even want to make eye contact with me. It was as if we were strangers or at least I was to him. If I would make eye contact with him or try to talk to him he would close his eyes ( he couldn’t even barely move his body mind you either) I would watch him eyes closed. Then he would peek to see if I was still looking at him. I had the feeling of how you lock eyes with a random person in public and usually one or both of them look away. Ken couldn’t move his head or neck . So closing his eyes was the only way for him to avoid or hide from us.
I remember begging the Doctor , my mom begging him to please do another scan on Ken. He wasn’t acting the same. He refused and assured us Ken’s behavior was from his injuries. It wasn’t until they thought Ken had a seizure they finally decided to do another scan on Ken. When they came back the news was the worst it could be. The DR. said “ Best we can tell is Ken had a massive stroke to the left side of his brain about a week ago”. I was furious I can still feel every single emotion that ran through me. We were also told that his spinal cord keeps sending cerebral fluid into his brain causing more swelling and not less like he needed. It was very confusing the trauma Doctor would say one thing . The neurosurgeon would say another.
The trauma Doctor told us then that Ken was not going to make it because of the spinal cord injury. There was nothing that could be done. We held a prayer group of four of us for a long while that night. My mom and myself stayed the whole night. I laid on the floor holding Ken’s hand praying to God to spare our son Jesus’s brother. The next morning we talked with the neurosurgeon and he told us that they could put a brain shunt into Ken’s brain that would have a small tube that connected to his stomach. It’s all under the skin. He also said sometimes putting the skull flap back on fixed the issues on it’s own. However Ken had no skull to put back. They used some biological material that is supposed to harden into a bone over time . It’s a huge rectangular shape. I have seen it in his scans. It did not help with Ken’s issue however so we went with Plan B.. the brain shunt.
The surgeon said Ken would not have a good quality of life and never get any better then he was at that time . Which was very bad off to say it nicely. He suggested we turn Ken’s feeding tube feeds off and let him pass. We declined. I made a promise to my son we would get through this. And never give up until Ken was where he needed to be. I don’t intend on breaking that promise. I knew then this was going to be a very long and hard road for the two of us. I also knew we could do it because we did it 20 years ago when he was born. My first born. He was such a smart baby hit all his milestones way ahead of time. I started digging further and deeper to find thing’s and ways to help Ken. I got him well enough that e could sit up and be placed in a medical chair again. Ken was becoming more aware. God was answering all of our prayers.
Finally Ken was approved to go to a lower level rehabilitation facility. The place was mostly awful . My husband and I moved that way Green Cove Springs FLA hours away from our home. We stayed where we could with help from family. My husband Door Dashed while I was at the hospital with Ken every day. Every day he was getting better and better. They were able to get him off the trachea tube and ventilator. That was such and amazing win for us. One of the most bittersweet moments ever. Ken then got even better and was able to go outside and follow commands again. I knew we would be taking him home as I promised him.
I worked every day with Ken very hard. Ken became more alert and well enough to go to Brooks Rehabilitation Center in Jacksonville, FLA. We headed that way with hopes Ken would continue to get even better. The kicker was Ken only had 14 days to do something which he did ! His efforts were amazing! I have never been so proud of him. Even though Ken is now non verbal he is able and has been able to communicate in one way or another of he wants and needs.
When we got home I was ready I had been training for what I thought was 4 months. In reality I’ve been training for this my whole life. For the first 14 months it was basically Ken and I. Calls for help were rare when he was in the hospital unless it was an emergency. They are not good at coming anyway. I learned that very quickly. I learned a lot about hospitals and how they work or don’t for that matter. Both Brooks and Kindred had been turning Ken’s feeding off when discharged. Ken's weight was in the upper 90’s in the 14 days he was at rehab ... 94 lbs when they discharged to come home.
Another situation that makes me so angry inside. We are coming up in our second year anniversary. It has been a very tough journey. With many struggles, wins, setbacks, good, and bad days. I’ve cried for him in silence for so long. He has no clue. Ken has come so far from everything that was sent to destroy him. Today Ken has improved vastly from where he was that first day. It’s taken so much hard work , long days and nights. So many hospital stays. So many neurosurgeries. I stopped counting at 11. I couldn’t bear it any longer. Every time he went in for surgery I got that same feeling where time stood still and it was just on long hard depressing day.
Every single time though Ken and I have worked together as a team and he gets better than he was before the set backs. I’m so proud of KEN . I love watching him do things the surgeon said he never would do again. It’s so rewarding. It fills my heart with faith, happiness, hope, and so much love . It makes all the times I cried in silence worth it. Every bad day or hospital stay, worth it. Being a caregiver and a mother has been the most hardest yet easiest thing I have ever done in my life. I can’t wait to see what’s next. But one thing I know for sure is God is not done yet. The best is yet to come . Ken saved my life when he was born. Now God has giving me the chance to repay the favor.
Guest Blogger Bio:
This blog is written by Renee, a dedicated mother and caregiver to Ken, sharing their inspiring journey to wellness after his stroke. With heartfelt reflections and practical insights, Renee highlights the resilience, love, and strength required to navigate caregiving and recovery. Follow their ongoing story and find encouragement in their experiences.
For more updates on Ken’s progress and tips from their journey, connect with Renee on TikTok: @Kensjourney914